How about a wimpy guy who likes to pretend that he’s a lion in front of his bathroom mirror? He never does this outside the bathroom, door closed and locked, private space. He doesn’t want to share his elation and he won’t submit to the ridicule of pretend lions wearing bright green underpants.
Then there was the kid who always wore plain white underpants decorated with wimpy green lions. He cried about it but tears couldn’t change his mother’s mind. So he was forced to pretend that his lions were green so they could hide in the tall green grass. He liked his new lion friends — they seemed like normal lions but when the little boy finally understood the lion language well enough, he discovered that the lions hated green.
They didn’t want to remain a prisoner of the underpants either. The boy wished and promised and begged and cried until one day he heard a voice and looked up to see an old bedraggled wizard standing in the middle of his bedroom.
“What do you want kid? I can’t stand the nagging.”
The kid showed the wizard his green lion underpants and before he got a word out, the wizard began laughing.
The wizard mumbled something, pointed his wand at the green lions and there was a brief flash of light.
The wizard looked at the kid with a serious expression on his face (the wizard’s face) and told the kid: “Be careful. The next person who touches your underpants after you take them off will exchange places with the green lions.”
The wizard laughed and disappeared with a loud pop. The poor kid stood there in the middle of his bedroom wondering if he was imagining things when the door opened and his mother burst into the room.
“I’m doing the wash this morning so get that dirty underwear off and put into the hamper.”
It was hard to hear over the noise of the washer but the little boy thought he heard a lion roar. How was he to explain his new underpants?
Couldn’t help myself. I wrote this little story one morning while writing my morning pages. It just spilled out.